The truth

Hmmm... Where to begin. Well the thing that is probably most important to everyone is relationships that they have. That's where the "juice" of our society comes from. So let's talk a little about that. I think that all relationships start from within. No matter who you encounter in the outside world, their contact with you started from your contact with yourself. If you treat yourself a certain way, make certain decisions, act a certain way you will encounter outside influences that will impact that lifestyle. This is coming from the point of view of a vipassanna meditator, so naturally I'm going to say that all of our situations arise from the inner situation. From an experiential standpoint I think this holds true.

I treat myself as a follower of my brother. I feel like I can't do my own thing and not follow my brother because I see that he is a pretty powerful and influential person to me and has been my entire life. I feel the need to foolishly copy everything he does because I am afraid to do my own thing. I am afraid to put myself in to everything I do, because I just have never had to do that before. I am a bit like a sheep, following all the other sheep even when my spidey instinct tells me no, you are making a big mistake! It's wierd, I have this inner sense of knowing what feels right and what doesn't, and when it tells me something doesn't feel right I do it anyways. Usually is the source of all my problems. I am a bit blind when it comes to feeling my way through things, stepping out of my prison, and just going with the flow of the world. I need to find something that I love doing which really suits my personality, and maybe I haven't found it yet. In some ways I have, by discovering vipassanna meditation, because it makes me feel peaceful and feel as if everyday I am doing something good for myself, something that unfortunately has become somewhat of a rarity in western society.   However, the thing about meditation is that it is basically sitting down and focusing on your breath for an hour, and sometimes you just don't feel like doing it.